This weekend we took a family trip to my husband’s hometown in California to visit with his grandparents. While we were there Chris’ grandpa spent each day playing baseball with our boys. He coached little league for over a decade, coaching at least two kids that made it to the majors. Chase started his first year of competitive baseball last month and having Great Grandpa Jack coaching him was not only a memory that will last a life time but it was also a huge confidence builder for our son. He still hasn’t gotten that first hit, but practicing with Grandpa Jack helped him believe that he could. Grandpa Jack retired from the post office a couple years ago after 40+ years, since then he hasn’t gotten out much. While we were there he took Chris and Chase down to the school and played baseball with them. Not only did it make their day but it meant so much to my mother in law to see her Dad up, moving, and playing with her grandbabies. Bentley even got a kick out of playing baseball with Grandpa Jack. He was teaching Bentley (2 years old) to hit off of the tee and when Bentley was done he passed the bat to grandpa and told him to “smack that ball!” he even showed him how! We also had an amazing bonfire with family and friends at Chris’ aunt's house, in the orange groves. We spent another day walking through downtown Exeter, after having A&W for lunch. (I can't remember the last time I even saw an A&W!!) Then my sister in law and I took off shopping looking for rustic and unique décor for our houses. It was very hard to restrain myself from buying the whole town! The kids were able to meet firefighters and see them in action while putting out car fires (training in an empty field) they were also given firefighter hats! We had delicious ice cream made with local oranges at a cute little shack called The Orange Works. Then, we went back out to Chris’ aunt's house and picked tons of ginormous oranges, to bring back home. And on the way home we decided to stop in San Diego to see my parents and siblings, for an Easter lunch. Where the boys got to search for more Easter eggs and play on the trampoline with my little sister before we hit the road again. The trip was amazing, the time spent with family was unforgettable, and the memories made were priceless. My kids are so very lucky to be blessed with such an incredible amount of people that love them. Check out the pictures below to see all the fun we had on our little vacation!
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The mine phase drives every parent insane! Our boys are five years apart, our oldest never went through this phase. Our 2-year-old on the other hand is an expert at this phase!
Bentley (2-year-old) wants to do whatever his big brother does and have whatever he has. He looks up to him and wants to be just like him. Chase (8-year-old) is a great big brother! He is always trying to take care of Bentley. But of course Bentley isn’t always that nice, He takes things from Chase and throws tantrums when his brother has something that he wants. In his mind everything belongs to him, even my phone belongs to him. He has Nick JR, Santa shaving, a coloring game, and Disney Junior on there so the second he decides he wants to play one of his games its “where’s my phone?” “I have my phone, please” (at least he says please…) but then if I’m using it, it will turn into “It’s my phone!” “Mommy! Its MINE!” and when he wants whatever his brother has he will tell him that it’s his as he tries to take it from him. I think that teaching a toddler to share is one of the harder lessons to teach, first of all they’re stubborn/ hardheaded and don’t want to do anything you say (at least that’s how my toddler is) but also because we constantly tell our kids “No, that’s Mommy’s/ Don’t touch that, It’s not yours/ No, that’s mine!” We teach them that what belongs to us is ours and we don’t have to share it with anyone. Then, they are told that they have to share their things. We tell Bentley “you need to share” or “sharing is nice” and he turns to his brother every time and says “Chase, Share!” or “Yeah! You share!” (see what I mean?) of course we then show him how to share and we do little sharing activities where the kids take turns with something they both want. (Chase is a little old for it, but he plays along for his brother) I would like to hear how other parents deal with the Mine Phase and what your methods are in teaching your toddler to share?! I wanted to write an article on bullying as my 8-year-old has dealt with the same bully for the last 3 years. He has told the teachers, I have contacted the teacher and principle and finally the school board after no actions were taken to stop the bullying. They still didn’t help. It continued to get worse and finally we had to have the talk… we had to explain to our 8-year-old that it is okay to stand up for yourself against a bully that it is okay to defend yourself when you have no other choice but that you NEVER become the bully and instigate anything. One day I picked my son up from school and as he got in the car he told me that he hit the bully. After hearing his story, he did it in self-defense and sure enough he hasn’t had an issue with the bully since!
I don’t condone violence and I certainly don’t encourage my son to use it, but when there is nothing else that can be done, what other option do you have?! It’s hard to watch your child struggle, to see his pain, to see him make himself sick with worry, when you tell him he has to go to school and you know the reason he doesn’t want to is because he doesn’t want to be picked on. I feel the need to write this because I believe that the school should have handled this before it had gotten to this point. I don’t believe my son should have dealt with this for 3 years without the help of teachers. I think the school should have stood by their “zero tolerance” policy. Bullying isn’t something that should be ignored. With social media and cell phones and all the other ways we are able to connect with large groups of people it makes things worse. It’s no longer just on the school playground. My son wants a phone and a Facebook, because all of his friends have them but my husband and I want to wait as long as possible before we allow our son to be involved in that social world. (but that’s for another post) I found an article from Kidshealth.org that I want to share with you about bullying, reviewed by D'Arcy Lyness, PhD “Bullying is a big problem. It can make kids feel hurt, scared, sick, lonely, embarrassed and sad. Bullies might hit, kick, or push to hurt people, or use words to call names, threaten, tease, or scare them. A bully might say mean things about someone, grab a kid's stuff, make fun of someone, or leave a kid out of the group on purpose. Some bullies threaten people or try to make them do things they don't want to do. Bullying Is a Big Deal Bullying is a big problem that affects lots of kids. Three-quarters of all kids say they have been bullied or teased. Being bullied can make kids feel really bad. The stress of dealing with bullies can make kids feel sick. Bullying can make kids not want to play outside or go to school. It's hard to keep your mind on schoolwork when you're worried about how you're going to deal with the bully near your locker. Bullying bothers everyone — and not just the kids who are getting picked on. Bullying can make school a place of fear and can lead to more violence and more stress for everyone. Why Do Bullies Act That Way? Some bullies are looking for attention. They might think bullying is a way to be popular or to get what they want. Most bullies are trying to make themselves feel more important. When they pick on someone else, it can make them feel big and powerful. Some bullies come from families where everyone is angry and shouting all the time. They may think that being angry, calling names, and pushing people around is a normal way to act. Some bullies are copying what they've seen someone else do. Some have been bullied themselves. Sometimes bullies know that what they are doing or saying hurts other people. But other bullies may not really know how hurtful their actions can be. Most bullies don't understand or care about the feelings of others. Bullies often pick on someone they think they can have power over. They might pick on kids who get upset easily or who have trouble sticking up for themselves. Getting a big reaction out of someone can make bullies feel like they have the power they want. Sometimes bullies pick on someone who is smarter than they are or different from them in some way. Sometimes bullies just pick on a kid for no reason at all. Bullying: How to Handle It So now you know that bullying is a big problem that affects a lot of kids, but what do you do if someone is bullying you? Our advice falls into two categories: preventing a run-in with the bully, and what to do if you end up face-to-face with the bully. Preventing a Run-In With a Bully Don't give the bully a chance. As much as you can, avoid the bully. You can't go into hiding or skip class, of course. But if you can take a different route and avoid him or her, do so. Stand tall and be brave. When you're scared of another person, you're probably not feeling your bravest. But sometimes just acting brave is enough to stop a bully. How does a brave person look and act? Stand tall and you'll send the message: "Don't mess with me." It's easier to feel brave when you feel good about yourself. See the next tip! Feel good about you. Nobody's perfect, but what can you do to look and feel your best? Maybe you'd like to be more fit. If so, maybe you'll decide to get more exercise, watch less TV, and eat healthier snacks. Or maybe you feel you look best when you shower in the morning before school. If so, you could decide to get up a little earlier so you can be clean and refreshed for the school day. Get a buddy (and be a buddy). Two is better than one if you're trying to avoid being bullied. Make a plan to walk with a friend or two on the way to school or recess or lunch or wherever you think you might meet the bully. Offer to do the same if a friend is having bully trouble. Get involved if you see bullying going on in your school — tell an adult, stick up for the kid being bullied, and tell the bully to stop. If The Bully Says or Does Something to You Ignore the bully. If you can, try your best to ignore the bully's threats. Pretend you don't hear them and walk away quickly to a place of safety. Bullies want a big reaction to their teasing and meanness. Acting as if you don't notice and don't care is like giving no reaction at all, and this just might stop a bully's behavior. Stand up for yourself. Pretend to feel really brave and confident. Tell the bully "No! Stop it!" in a loud voice. Then walk away, or run if you have to. Kids also can stand up for each other by telling a bully to stop teasing or scaring someone else, and then walk away together. If a bully wants you to do something that you don't want to do — say "no!" and walk away. If you do what a bully says to do, they will likely keep bullying you. Bullies tend to bully kids who don't stick up for themselves. Don't show your feelings. Plan ahead. How can you stop yourself from getting angry or showing you're upset? Try distracting yourself (counting backwards from 100, spelling the word 'turtle' backwards, etc.) to keep your mind occupied until you are out of the situation and somewhere safe where you can show your feelings. Tell an adult. If you are being bullied, it's very important to tell an adult. Find someone you trust and go and tell them what is happening to you. Teachers, principals, parents, and lunchroom helpers at school can all help to stop bullying. Sometimes bullies stop as soon as a teacher finds out because they're afraid that they will be punished by parents. This is not tattling on someone who has done something small — bullying is wrong and it helps if everyone who gets bullied or sees someone being bullied speaks up. What Happens to Bullies? In the end, most bullies wind up in trouble. If they keep acting mean and hurtful, sooner or later they may have only a few friends left — usually other kids who are just like them. The power they wanted slips away fast. Other kids move on and leave bullies behind. Some kids who bully blame others. But every kid has a choice about how to act. Some kids who bully realize that they don't get the respect they want by threatening others. They may have thought that bullying would make them popular, but they soon find out that other kids just think of them as trouble-making losers. The good news is that kids who are bullies can learn to change their behavior. Teachers, counselors, and parents can help. So can watching kids who treat others fairly and with respect. Bullies can change if they learn to use their power in positive ways. In the end, whether bullies decide to change their ways is up to them. Some bullies turn into great kids. Some bullies never learn. But no one needs to put up with a bully's behavior. If you or someone you know is bothered by a bully, talk to someone you trust. Everyone has the right to feel safe, and being bullied makes people feel unsafe. Tell someone about it and keep telling until something is done.” “Don’t lick the dog!”
“Don’t lick the fridge!” “We don’t eat things we find in the couch!” Evidently my toddler has a licking issue…Teaching little kids right from wrong can be stressful and at other times cause you to think “did I really have to just tell my child not to lick the dog?!” When they are young their minds are sponges, they absorb everything that is said and done. (Especially the things we don’t want them repeating) Daily I find myself telling my toddler that he can’t drink the dog’s water, or that we don’t lick the floor! (Again with the licking) We argue about why he has to wash his hands, or why we have to pick up our toys, or why we have to share. (We’re in the famous “why” stage...) We teach them why these things aren’t normal, or why we need to do certain things like cleaning up after ourselves. And they teach us to appreciate the smallest of things. One of the greatest abilities our children have is that they are able to find pure excitement and joy in the simplest things, such as keeping the noodle on the fork or finding a toy. I always try to share the joy with them because to us it might be common sense or a simple task we do every day without giving it a single thought. But to our kids that little task is a huge accomplishment!! Back to those sponges, they absorb everything including emotion, they need to see you just as excited as they are, remember to celebrate life’s milestones. Children need affirmation, and physical touch to feel love, a simple “yippee” and you will make their heart happy! I know that it is hard to not get caught up in our daily lives that we over look life’s greatest accomplishments but the best you can do is be present, be excited, and yell “yippee” every now and then! Although some of life’s lessons are a little strange I bet someone once told you “don’t lick the dog!” The struggle is real! My husband and I have been trying to potty train our 2 year old, we started a couple weeks ago. He had gotten to the point where he hated the wet diapers, especially the poopy ones and would tell us when he needed changed. "They" say that's the first sign kids are ready to ditch the diapers and start using the potty! They make it sound so easy... They lie!! He has one of those removable potty chairs that sits on the toilet, a urinal (I know first thought is pee EVERYWHERE! and you'd be right, if he used it.) a step stool, sticker board and two bins of prizes. He has great days where he can't wait to get a sticker and a new toy and then there are days that if I want him to sit on that toilet I would have to tie him to it!
Again, "they" say don't force it or he will fear it so we listen to them and do another day of diapers. If you knew my son you would understand that there is no bribing, convincing or tricking, if he doesn't want to do something then by golly he isn't going to do it! (I hear he gets that from me...) On the days he is just done with it you can ask him if he has to go and try bringing him to the bathroom as he yells "NO! I'm fine!" while kicking and screaming, but really, who wants to fight when you know you're going to lose?! I guess he will use it when he is ready, right?! If not he's going to learn to change his own diapers!! Chase told me that he was going to put his baseball glove in the "Dog House" I said "the Dugout?" Chase "yeah that. . ." He continued to call it the dog house for the remainder of his game! lol
Bentley Is now walking everywhere! Climbing on everything! and Destroying anything in reach! And I thought my life was hectic before he was mobile! Its amazing how fast they grow!
The world in the eyes of a six year old...
Chase and I were at Walgreens, He looked at the pictures above the registers that showed the store back when the store first opened. (in black and white) Chase asked me if that was the same store, I said yes. . .He said "OOOH before we were in color!?" . . . I couldn't help but laugh as did the lady behind the counter. |
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